Open letter to Washington

Dear Politicians,

Can we go ahead a put a moratorium on shouting things out of turn ("Baby killer!") and starting chants on the house floor? ("Yes we can! Yes we can!")

I know you're all excited and you live in a world where dignity is overshadowed by a culture of "Look at me!"; but lets try acting like adults.

Until then, I can't wait to not vote in November.

I figured out why I'm not a pot head

I was always disappointed in myself that I never became a pot head. I'm not really good at anything, and I thought that was something I would excel at.

I enjoy reggae music, junk food, deep conversations, and syndicated television. I would have been a natural.

So why did it never come together? Well, anyone who knows me knows that I hate ordering things over the phone. I get nervous ordering pizza, can you imagine me calling up my local drug dealer to set up an illegal narcotics purchase?

For once my laziness and low self-esteem work in my favor. In your face people who say I'm wasting my talents!

So that's my story. Really no point to it.

Messing with spammers

I get a lot of Spam to my work email address, so I finally decided to make a fake email account and mess with them. I'll post them if anything funny happens.

For example I get this email saying I won a $2.5 million lottery for using the World Wide Web:

-----Original Message-----
From: Coordinator [mailto:nationallotto24@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: Monday, February 01, 2010 2:53 PM
To: Info (US)
Subject: Final Notification
Importance: High


Dear winner,

This Email is to inform you that you emerged a winner of the sum of $2,500,000.00USD with the following numbers attached=
Ref Number: PW 9590 ES 9414
Batch Number: 573881545-UK/2009
Ticket Number: PP3502 /8707-01
in our online draws which was played Febuary this year 2010.

For further Information about your Winnings, contact your Lottery Claims Officer with the following contact Address Below.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Mr Clay Purdew
Lottery Claim Officer
Claim Department
Tel/Fax= 44-705-361-9282
EMAIL= claimdept@dr.com
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Congratulations! Thank you for being a user of the World Wide Web.

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs Kathy Terry
Lottery Coordinator.

To which I responded:

Greetings Clay Purdew and Kathy Terry,

It pains me to admit this, but I can not accept the lottery winnings.

My ticket number is not PP3502 /8707-01 as listed in your email. My ticket number is PP4493 /2303-01.

I sincerly apologize, but I can no longer live this lie.

Regards,

John Froland

So we'll see if they respond. As you can see, I've started to plant some seeds for an epic emotional breakdown from John Froland.

Haiti

Because of my line of work, I'm getting a lot of questions about Haiti. If you want to help, your financial support is needed more than anything. There are a lot of scams out there, so just go to http://www.care.org and feel comfortable with your donation.

And while you're on the webs, head over to the Christian Broadcast Network at CBN.com and tell Pat Robertson to eat shit.

Some recent pictures

Dwight Schrute:



Church in Iceland:



Meet me on the corner of Posthusstraeti and Tryggvagata:



Delicious:



Jude doesn't get one?:



Merry Christmas!